Darcie Bakes //

Baking from scratch… because good things take time.

Random Sides // Things I’m Afraid to Tell You.

Oh boy. I am only about three years late on this blog post. Ha.

I got this idea from Beth – who owns Parsimonia – a really awesome vintage clothing store in St. Louis. She got the idea from a post that Ez of the popular Creature Comforts blog wrote back in 2012.

Even though I am just now reading Beth’s “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” post, for some reason, it really struck a chord and resonated with me on this fine Monday.

I do my best to keep it real on the ol’ blog. My philosophy is: keep things realistic, but still as positive as possible. While I do want my work to look nice [and I will forever struggle with being halfway decent at food photography], I try to not come off as thinking I’m better than anyone else. Because I will fully admit that I am not perfect. However, the reason as to why many bloggers have started posts like these is because just about everything you see online these days is so perfectly styled and curated. But the reality of life is that, well, it’s far from perfect. Life is hard. Life is terrifying. Life is messy, weird, and just downright shitty sometimes. And while it’s great to have beautiful online spaces [and I am very grateful to have my own little nook of the Interwebs as my creative outlet], it’s often hard to remember that when you’re looking at someone’s online presence, you are really only seeing a very small portion of that person’s actual life.

It’s all too easy to fall into the comparison trap when it comes to social media. It’s so easy to get down on yourself, and never feel good enough. Because there will always be someone out there who has more money than you, who dresses better than you, who is prettier than you, and who is more talented at something than you.

So, in an effort to keep it real and [gulp!] share a bit more about myself, here are some “things I’m afraid to tell you.” Just so that you can see that I’m imperfect, and while I have a good life, things aren’t always what they seem. I hope this resonates with you, and that you can find comfort in knowing that we are all just humans. And that there really is no reason to compete with others – after all, we are all in this together.

{From Ez of the Creature Comforts Blog.}

+ I have struggled with severe, debilitating clinical depression and anxiety for at least the last four years, and it can be quite ugly.
I am actually pretty transparent about my mental health issues, but I think that a lot of people would never guess that I’m depressed. It has gotten a lot better, but not without a lot of really painful moments. Depression – coupled with some anxiety – will be something that I’ll have to cope with for the rest of my life. And it is not pretty. I am on medication, and sometimes that really gets me down. I have days in which I want to do nothing but cease to exist and so I end up sleeping all day. I have screwed up classes, and I have sometimes gotten in trouble at work because of my issues. I have lost friends, and I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff due to the mental issues. Although I do take full responsibility for my actions, and I try to not use the illnesses as a crutch, it still gets the best of me sometimes. All that being said: I do believe that depression has molded me into a much stronger person.

+ I am actually quite introverted, even though I don’t always come off that way.
And it still often gets misconstrued as being anti-social and/or stuck-up. I’m what I like to call a “fairly sociable introvert.” While I’m certainly not outgoing, I’m not particularly shy in most situations [although I can be at times, depending on how insecure I’m feeling on a given day]. I am relatively friendly, and I love socializing with my friends. However, I hate meeting new people – it just causes my anxiety levels to spike, even though it’s nice to connect with others. And, people wear me out really fast, so after I have spent several hours socializing, I like to be alone to recharge. Sometimes I’ll shut myself in my room for a day and just read, nap, work on my blog, work on a craft, etc. just to be alone and in my own thoughts. I’m also somewhat reserved in general; I tend to not talk all the time, and I like to sit back and listen a lot. To my dismay, some people take that the wrong way. But honestly, I am a pretty nice person, and I’m relatively neutral toward most people until they give me a reason to dislike them. PS: I’m also really bad being the first person to strike up a conversation with people that I don’t know. So if you ever encounter me in person, just say hi, and I’ll probably respond! 🙂 {I also have “resting bitch face.” It’s nothing personal, I swear.}

+ Even though I enjoy organizing, I can be a total slob, and sometimes I’m okay with it.
My room is an absolute disaster, but at least I know where [mostly] everything is! But it still makes me feel ashamed a lot, as if I don’t have my shit together as a ~proper adult~. Still, I go back and forth between not caring at all, and feeling really embarrassed about it. Maybe one of these days I’ll get my act together.

+ I procrastinate way too much, and I actually don’t handle stress all that well.
Like a lot of people, I enjoy putting things off until the last minute. Then I get overwhelmed and in over my head when I’m trying to quickly complete too many projects at once. And sometimes I nearly shut down mentally because of it. This issue is on my “to continuously work on” list. 😉

Wow woo wee wow. That was a lengthy post. I’m done rambling now.

What about you? Are there some things that you’re “afraid to share” for fear of coming off as too human? Let’s hear it! It’s very humbling. 😉

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